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On the way to the stadium, inside the 49ers' locker room and all the way until an hour before kickoff, Marquise kept calling Morgan, begging to come back to the hospital -- wanting to be with her, where he felt safe, where the world was still manageable -- telling her he wasn't sure he could do this. Very few people on the team knew what had happened, but during the national anthem, a sobbing Marquise teetered between Colbert, his cousin, on his left, and his friend, safety Eric Reid, on his right, and shared the news. "I was a zombie," Marquise says. "To be frank, I didn't want to be there. My mind was not there."
Ray Goodman And Brown Till The Right One Comes Along
At his lowest point, when Marquise reached out to his team, occasionally the message he heard was similar to what many grieving parents hear from uninformed friends, family and co-workers: What's taking so long? This happens to everybody. The baby was only 19 weeks, so that's not as bad, right? "I try not to judge. It's hard to empathize with something you've never experienced," Marquise says. "And when it comes to the death of a child, that's a lot of people who will never know."
A few days before last Thanksgiving, inside a dark examination room at Belly Bean 3D Ultrasound Studio in San Jose, as soon as the Goodwins' baby comes to life on the monitor and its strong, thumping heartbeat reverberates around the room, Marquise and Morgan, dressed in matching white sweat suits, laugh in harmony and stretch their open arms toward the screen as if they could reach right in and grab their baby.
Today Morgan is 24 weeks and six days and -- having never been this far along, to a place where every day the baby becomes more viable outside the womb -- everything is a milestone worth celebrating. Even more so knowing that tomorrow is the twins' birthday.
The day before, when Marquise had arrived at Levi's Stadium for the 49ers' critical NFC showdown with the Green Bay Packers, his game jersey wasn't hanging in his locker. "Babe," he texted Morgan, "I'm not even playing today." Since his breakout season of 2017, Marquise has struggled to stay healthy and productive, slowly slipping down the depth chart as the 49ers upgraded their receiving corps by trading for Emmanuel Sanders and drafting Deebo Samuel and Dante Pettis. Still, the healthy scratch comes as a shock and embarrassment to Marquise, who has flown his grandma in from Texas for the game.
Just after 7 a.m., after Morgan returns from her epidural, Marquise's shoe selection becomes a moot point. Having never been this far along in the birth process, he laughs after realizing his scrubs include blue footie coverings for his shoes. The Goodwins are so relaxed and giggly, they pose for a bedside selfie with their doctor before Morgan is wheeled down the hallway to the operating room with Marquise and camera in tow.
Morgan's eyes and mouth pop open with excitement, until the sound of her daughter crying reaches her ears. The song she's been waiting to hear for so long takes her breath away. And after one vocal, rushed inhale, her entire being seems to exhale fully, for perhaps the first time in years. She doesn't say a word. Doesn't need to. Nothing could better describe the weight of the burden she's carried for the past three years, or the magnitudes of joy she's experiencing right now, than the utter peace and stillness of her repose. "Mo's the courageous one," Marquise says.
Cardiovascular deaths make up 33% of deaths amenable to health care (figure 5).94 Ischaemic heart disease is the largest contributor to amenable cardiovascular disease deaths, with 14 million deaths due to poor-quality care and 260 000 due to non-utilisation of health systems. Of the 2 million deaths from neonatal conditions and tuberculosis that are amenable to health care, 56% occurred in people who used the health system, but did not receive good quality care. Across several other health priorities for which coverage is still low, including chronic respiratory disease, cancer, mental health, and diabetes, non-utilisation of health systems plays a larger role than poor-quality care, but this will change as access increases. Our results highlight that health systems could be more effective in saving lives across a spectrum of conditions by improving quality of care along with expanding coverage. An analysis done with similar methods for a shorter list of conditions found that, globally, 80 million deaths could be averted with access to high-quality care.95
Reasons for poor-quality care in these three dimensions include the collapse of health services, insufficient financial and human resources, low patient empowerment, barriers to continuity of care, insufficient legislative controls, and breakdown in trust between patient and system. These dimensions of vulnerability, along with an understanding of why these groups could receive poor-quality care and suffer worse health outcomes than others, can inform policies and programmes that target specific vulnerability factors.
Strong interfacility communication and referral networks are crucial to the success of quality-focused redesign, along with investments and participation from non-health-care sectors. Tools to facilitate redesign that warrant consideration include improved transportation (eg, community taxi services and ambulances),271 communication (district-led learning, discussed in the following subsection), measures to reduce access barriers to high-quality facilities (eg, vouchers and maternity waiting homes),272,273 and public education to enhance population understanding of the right place for care.274 Local context, with a focus on facilitating access to high-quality care for the most marginalised subpopulations, should drive the mix of interventions and incentives.
It iscurious, how a man may travelalong a country road, and yet miss thegrandest, or sweetest of prospects, byreason of an intervening hedge, solike all other hedges, as in no way tohint of the wide landscape beyond. Sohas it been with me concerning theenchanting landscape in the soul ofthis Hawthorne, this most excellentMan of Mosses. His "Old Manse" hasbeen written now four years, but Inever read it till a day or two since.I had seen it in thebook-stores--heard of it often--evenhad it recommended to me by atasteful friend, as a rare, quietbook, perhaps too deserving ofpopularity to be popular. But thereare so many books called "excellent,"and so much unpopular merit, that amidthe thick stir of other things, thehint of my tasteful friend wasdisregarded; and for four years theMosses on the Old Manse neverrefreshed me with their perennialgreen. It may be, however, that allthis while, the book, like wine, wasonly improving in flavor and body. Atany rate, it so chanced that this longprocrastination eventuated in a happyresult. At breakfast the other day, amountain girl, a cousin of mine, whofor the last two weeks has everymorning helped me to strawberries andraspberries,--which like the roses andpearls in the fairy-tale, seemed tofall into the saucer from thosestrawberry-beds her cheeks,--thisdelightful crature, this charmingCherry says to me--"I see you spendyour mornings in the hay-mow; andyesterday I found there 'Dwight'sTravels in New England'. Now I havesomething far better thanthat,--something more congenial to oursummer on these hills. Take theseraspberries, and then I will give yousome moss."--"Moss!" said I--"Yes, andyou must take it to the barn with you,and good-bye to 'Dwight.'"
"The ChristmasBanquet," and "TheBosom Serpent" would be fine subjectsfor a curious and elaborate analysis,touching the conjectural parts of themind that produced them. For spite ofall the Indian-summer sunlight on thehither side of Hawthorne's soul, theother side--like the dark half of thephysical sphere--is shrouded in ablackness, ten times black. But thisdarkness but gives more effect to theevermoving dawn, that forever advancesthrough it, and cirumnavigates hisworld. Whether Hawthorne has simplyavailed himself of this mysticalblackness as a means to the wondrouseffects he makes it to produce in hislights and shades; or whether therereally lurks in him, perhaps unknownto himself, a touch of Puritanicgloom,--this, I cannot altogethertell. Certain it is, however, thatthis grat power of blackness in himderives its force from its appeals tothat Calvinistic sense of InnateDepravity and Original Sin, from whosevisitations, in some shape or other,no deeply thinking mind is always andwholly free. For, in certain moods, noman can weigh this world, withoutthrowing in something, somehow likeOriginal Sin, to strike the unevenbalance. At all events, perhaps nowriter has ever wielded this terrificthought with greater terror than thissame harmless Hawthorne. Still more:this black conceit pervades him,through and through. You may bewitched by his sunlight,--transportedby the bright gildings in the skies hebuilds over you;--but there is theblackness of darkness beyond; and evenhis bright gildings but fringe, andplay upon the edges ofthunder-clouds.--In one word, theworld is mistaken in this NathanielHawthorne. He himself must often havesmiled at its absurd misconceptions ofhim. He is immeasurably deeper thanthe plummet of the mere critic. For itis not the brain that can test such aman; it is only the heart. You cannotcome to know greatness by inspectingit; there is no glimpse to be caughtof it, except by intuition; you neednot ring it, you but touch it, and youfind it is gold.
Let Americanthen prize and cherishher writers, yea, let her glorifythem. They are not so many innumber, as to exhaust hergood-will. And while she has goodkith and kin of her own, to take toher bosom, let her not lavish herembraces upon the household of analien. For believe it or notEngland, after all, is, in manythings, an alien to us. China hasmore bowels of real love for usthan she. But even were there nostrong literary individualitiesamong us, as there are some dozenat least, nevertheless, let Americafirst praise mediocrity even, inher own children, before shepraises (for everywhere, meritdemands acknowledgment from everyone) the best excellence in thechildren of any other land. Let herown authors, I say, have thepriority of appreciation. I wasvery much pleased with a hot-headedCarolina cousin of mine, who oncesaid,--"If there were no otherAmerican to stand by, inLiterature,--why, then, I wouldstand by Pop Emmons and his'Fredoniad,' and till a better epiccame along, swear it was not veryfar behind the 'Iliad'." Take awaythe words, and in spirit he wassound. 2ff7e9595c
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